I've spent the past few days up on the Kapiti Coast, at the home of the amazing Janet and Ken. They are some of the most easy-going, welcoming people I have ever met. I stayed with them for 3 days/2 nights and they immediately made me feel like I was at home. Or maybe more accurately, it felt like I was at my parents' house. They never used the words "make yourself at home" but somehow they expressed that and I found myself digging in their fridge and acting as if I owned the place. Side note: these are the hippest 70-somethings I've ever met. Janet showed me videos from her granddaughter's YouTube channel and a few times took my phone from me to find the app she wanted me to have or the setting she thought I needed to change. They didn't bat an eye when I mentioned Jen and even told me about problems in their grandkids' school district (near San Francisco) with a transgender student being bullied and called out examples of institutional racism in NZ.
I could tell right away that Ken and Janet were very worldly people. They knew stuff about the US that I didn't even know and they regularly made references to people and places all over the planet. Only as the 3 days progressed did I fully come to understand how this was--not only did they live in the US during Ken's PhD program, upon their return they became very involved in hosting international students. Janet told me they were so well taken care of in California that they were inspired to do the same for people here.
This book is the list of people who have stayed with them since 1973:
I could tell right away that Ken and Janet were very worldly people. They knew stuff about the US that I didn't even know and they regularly made references to people and places all over the planet. Only as the 3 days progressed did I fully come to understand how this was--not only did they live in the US during Ken's PhD program, upon their return they became very involved in hosting international students. Janet told me they were so well taken care of in California that they were inspired to do the same for people here.
This book is the list of people who have stayed with them since 1973:
The pages under my thumb are full of names. I bet they've hosted over a thousand people in their home. Janet said they keep in touch with many of them and could tell me what many of them have gone on to do. Since they were university students from other countries, not surprisingly many of them were in a position to return to their home countries and take on significant leadership roles. She knew who had become the Minister of something or other in countries all over the world. I feel like I've become part of a long lineage of guests.
Since they live on the Kapiti Coast, we walked along the water and yesterday morning I went for a long run along it. It was pretty magical-- there is so much beach and so few people!
Since they live on the Kapiti Coast, we walked along the water and yesterday morning I went for a long run along it. It was pretty magical-- there is so much beach and so few people!
This morning I had the opportunity to attend an event with them at the Senior Citizens Center of Paraparaumu. The former Prime Minister, Jim Bolger, was the guest speaker. I was the youngest person in the room by a good 30 years. Once I got over that, it was FASCINATING. Ken introduced me to him and we had the brief, obligatory chat about weather in Minnesota. After the tea break, he spoke for about 45 minutes, coving everything from ISIS to climate change to New Zealand's acceptance of refugees. It was interesting to hear him speak about issues I've pondered before, but from a completely New Zealand perspective. (also interesting to ponder how the older crowd was receiving it)
I know nothing about Bolger, and my extremely limited understanding of NZ politics meant that I only knew he was from the more conservative "National Party." He got me a bit riled up when early on he mentioned he is against NZ writing a Constitution. He used the Dred Scott case as evidence for his argument, which seemed completely unfair to me. What about all the other cases where the Supreme Court has ruled on behalf of marginalized groups in ways that the populace never would have supported via the legislative process? After I chilled out a bit, I realized that the idea of no constitution had never really, truly occurred to me and I started trying to ponder the implications of such a decision.
But after this little scuffle in my brain, he was preaching to the choir with me. I know nothing about whether his words have been reflected in his actions, but he certainly said all the right things. He talked about climate change and New Zealand's chance to be a leader here, he said that anyone not prepared to acknowledge the importance of Maori culture in New Zealand should probably find a different country to live in... and he said the government needed to do a better job with the redistribution of wealth. Seriously, he said that. When a man asked a loaded question about local seats set aside for Maori people, he called him out on it, saying, "Oh, that is the old 'Maori are getting too much' argument." And then proceeded to put the man in his place. The larger point of his talk was that change is inevitable and he made occasional funny references to the fact that it was senior citizens in the room, making this an apropo topic. But at the same time, he also called attention to the fact that there were only white people in the room, and asked what this said about New Zealand's progress as a society. Knowing nothing about him, I left impressed and astonished that this is what the "conservative" party would say to a group of senior citizens. If this is the conservative view, what does the Labor Party support?
On the way to the car after this talk, Janet fell in the parking lot and skinned her knee. She was fine, but it was also a little scary. On the plane ride here I spent many hours listening to Being Mortal by Atul Gawande and since then I've been thinking a lot about what it means to get old. Spending time with Janet and Ken brought this book to light-- and when Janet fell all I could think about was Gawande's stats about elderly people who suffer falls. Ken and Janet are such vibrant younger-than-their-years people, and yet I could see Gawande's stories in them.
All in all, I feel like I gained a set of NZ parents this week. Not only were they amazing hosts, they lent me a bike (!!) for the next six months and they told me I have a place to stay on the Kapiti Coast whenever I need it.
Ps: Did I mention that Ken is a botanist and they have the most amazing backyard garden? Going for a walk with him takes hours because he can stop and tell you about every plant you see. Pics below!
But after this little scuffle in my brain, he was preaching to the choir with me. I know nothing about whether his words have been reflected in his actions, but he certainly said all the right things. He talked about climate change and New Zealand's chance to be a leader here, he said that anyone not prepared to acknowledge the importance of Maori culture in New Zealand should probably find a different country to live in... and he said the government needed to do a better job with the redistribution of wealth. Seriously, he said that. When a man asked a loaded question about local seats set aside for Maori people, he called him out on it, saying, "Oh, that is the old 'Maori are getting too much' argument." And then proceeded to put the man in his place. The larger point of his talk was that change is inevitable and he made occasional funny references to the fact that it was senior citizens in the room, making this an apropo topic. But at the same time, he also called attention to the fact that there were only white people in the room, and asked what this said about New Zealand's progress as a society. Knowing nothing about him, I left impressed and astonished that this is what the "conservative" party would say to a group of senior citizens. If this is the conservative view, what does the Labor Party support?
On the way to the car after this talk, Janet fell in the parking lot and skinned her knee. She was fine, but it was also a little scary. On the plane ride here I spent many hours listening to Being Mortal by Atul Gawande and since then I've been thinking a lot about what it means to get old. Spending time with Janet and Ken brought this book to light-- and when Janet fell all I could think about was Gawande's stats about elderly people who suffer falls. Ken and Janet are such vibrant younger-than-their-years people, and yet I could see Gawande's stories in them.
All in all, I feel like I gained a set of NZ parents this week. Not only were they amazing hosts, they lent me a bike (!!) for the next six months and they told me I have a place to stay on the Kapiti Coast whenever I need it.
Ps: Did I mention that Ken is a botanist and they have the most amazing backyard garden? Going for a walk with him takes hours because he can stop and tell you about every plant you see. Pics below!